


Find hope where hope is not found

by Katrinathe1st



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Hurt Cassian Andor, Hurt/Comfort, I do my best writing at midnight, Rebelcaptain - Freeform, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Worried Jyn Erso, and i'm tired, and yes it is midnight, because i have a love hate relationship with the rogue one ending, bodhi rook is a good bro, it was great but at the same time i really hate it, post scarif, post scariff, so here please enjoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:55:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23624959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katrinathe1st/pseuds/Katrinathe1st
Summary: Jyn looked back down at Cassian, and dwelled on that for a minute. Hope. Something Cassian practically lived for. She closed her eyes and smiled, regardless of their current situation. To some it might seem pretty hopeless, with Cassian practically lying on his deathbed and Bodhi trying to find a way to get an Imperial ship to a Rebel base. But the plans had made it out, they were alive (albeit barely) and as long as they had that, Jyn figured there was still plenty of hope.Aka: In the aftermath of Skarif, Jyn tries to keep Cassian alive, and Bodhi is trying his best to help her.
Relationships: Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso
Comments: 9
Kudos: 58





	Find hope where hope is not found

Jyn stumbled back, trying to ignore the pulsing in her leg so she could stand up straight. Her blaster was long gone, leaving her defenseless. But if she had to fight Krennic with her bare hands she would. So she pulled her shoulders back and leaned forward, even as her heart fought to break free from her chest. For she was staring down the barrel of a blaster.

The shot came, but the pain did not. She glanced down in confusion, wondering if the shot had sent her into shock. She had been told that could happen, where you don’t feel the initial pain until the adrenaline wears off. But no, there was no blaster wound. No blood. Nothing.

She looked back up again, watching in shock as Krennic crumpled, a smoking hole in his shoulder. Her gaze went past him, and her heart finally stopped pounding against her rib cage. Now, it sunk to her stomach.

Cassian was leaning against a beam, back heaving and eyes focused on her, as if he didn’t even see the man he’d just shot. In those short moments that their gaze held, she took him all in. Although, due to his body being half hidden by the pole he leaned against, she couldn’t tell where he was injured. But clearly, he was. Wavering, he looked like he was barely hanging on to consciousness. He still had his arms extended, his hands tightly fisting his blaster.

She stumbled forward and half crashed half leaned against the control panels. Much to her relief, the files had loaded. They’d been successfully transferred. The relief that filled her was exhausting. A sort of sad bubbly feeling. They’d done it. They’d succeeded.

She only prayed someone had been listening.

She looked up at Cassian and flashed a smile. His blaster was still aimed at the unconscious Krennic, but his eyes were on her. He matched her smile with his own, albeit weak and laced with pain. He wheezed and slowly began lowering his arms, just before the blaster clattered onto the grate floor. She stumbled towards him and ducked under his arm before he could completely collapse.

His breathing was ragged, she could feel it on her cheek. Still, she couldn’t find her voice, and it seemed he couldn’t either, for all he did was wrap an arm around her waist while his other grappled for her arm, which he gripped tightly. She looked towards Krennic, and moved to pick up Cassian’s blaster, fully prepared to finish the job. But Cassian stopped her, using his body weight to keep her from moving.

“Leave it, Jyn, leave it.” He mumbled, his accent thick. She fell back, allowing Cassian to press his face against her hair, letting his choppy breathing calm her. He was right. There were other things to worry about.

Like getting off this planet.

She took one last look at Krennic, before turning and pulling Cassian’s arm over her shoulder. Together, they made their way towards the elevator, shuffling as an awkward three legged creature. With every step Cassian became more and more dead weight.. Both his legs were uncooperative, dragging them both down, and he had his left arm wrapped tightly around his chest. But the only signs of his discomfort was his breathing.

“Do you think-“ He wheezed, and she craned her neck to look into his face. She was surprised to see he was already looking at her, a small smile teasing his lips. “Do… do you think anyone was listening?”

She focused on placing one foot in front of the other, but she didn’t have to think twice before answering. She broke eye contact to look up at the cloudy sky above them, littered with a few scattered Imperial aircraft, but mostly smoke. “Yes. I do.” She had little energy to say any more, so she only shifted him, her heart skipping a beat at his shaky inhale. She pulled them into the elevator and helped Cassian to lean against the wall so she could focus on punching at the keypad, placing their destination for ground level.

“Jyn.” Cassian muttered. At this point his accent was so thick, she could hardly make out what he was saying. She finished typing, and the door slammed shut. She turned and went to his side to grab his arm, supporting him. He murmured her name again incoherently, his eyes barely open.

“Cassian, stay with me.” She said, too desperate to care that her voice quivered. She was done with being strong. Done with being careful and guarded. Her shield was down, but she _did not_ care. Because for all she knew, Cassian could be dying.

She moved closer, until their chest’s were almost touching. Cassian’s head was resting against the glowing wall of the elevator, his tired gaze resting on her, and she couldn’t help but lean forward. She lifted a hand and set it on his shoulder, trying to tell him what she wanted to say. She opened her mouth to actually voice her thoughts, to tell him _“I’m so sorry for dragging you into this I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m sorry about K2 I’m sorry we’re going to die I’m sorry-”_ but nothing came out. She shut her mouth again, feeling absolutely and utterly helpless.

He surprised her by lifting his hand and grabbing the edge of her shirt, just above her collar bone. His look deepened, and for a moment, Jyn felt the world around them disappear. Like they weren’t in a shaking elevator, in a building on an island threatening to explode. Like their friend hadn’t just died. And for a minute, everything was okay.

But the spell was broken when the elevator shook, nearly spilling them both onto the floor. She pushed away from the wall towards the panel, huffing a sigh of relief when the screen glared back at her _“Ground 0”_.

She spun around and grabbed Cassian, trying to be somewhat gentle by pulling him against her. His side bumped against hers, and for the first time he let out a pained moan. She murmured a small, “Sorry.” but there wasn’t time to be careful. The doors opened, and the world outside only confirmed what she feared.

The entire island was falling to hell.

Ships were raining from the sky, along with bits of debris, and consequently, balls of flame comprised of broken parts from both the building towering above them, and the crashing ships. She pulled Cassian out of the elevator and across the sand, while he tried his best to help her. But he couldn’t seem to get his legs beneath him, which worried her more than she could say. But still, he didn’t complain, only pushed on in desperate attempts to match her sloppy steps.

The wind picked up, grabbing at her shirt and hair. Sand began to swirl about them, getting into her clothes and her eyes making it almost impossible to see. She squinted, and swiveled, trying to find a means of escape. But when she turned, she stumbled, and for a moment forgot to breathe..

On the horizon rose a plume of flame and smoke. A giant mushroom cloud, like the storms she’d seen back home, on the farm with her father and mother. One’s that flashed lightning and thunder. But this… this was clearly not a rain cloud.

There’s something about staring death in the face that makes you lose all hope. Jyn fought back a cry as her knees went out, and both her and Cassian fell into the sand. He leaned against his hand, his other still holding his stomach, but he was looking up at the smoke.

At their death.

He fell back, twisting his body so he could see her better. She refused to meet his gaze, for she knew what she’d find there. It wasn’t like him to just… just _sit there_ and do nothing. Unless he was giving up. And she wasn’t quite ready for that. Not yet.

She wanted to live. So badly. More than that, she wanted him to live, too. She wanted _them_ to live.

She looked behind them, trying desperately to find anything that might look like a means of escape. A ship, a fleeing aircraft… anything. But all she could see through the flying sand was smoke and devastation.

A hand grabbed hers, and she jerked her head to look at him. Cassian smiled wearily, and started to say something before turning away and coughing into his shirt sleeve. When he lifted his head, she was horrified to see the blood stain he left behind.

“Your… your father…” he paused and swallowed. His hand squeezed hers, and he smiled again. “Your father would be proud of you, Jyn.”

In that moment, Jyn had never felt such a strong desire to cry. And she never cried. She could count on one hand the amount of times she’d cried in the past five years of her life. But now, here, with death looming just a few miles away, and Cassian dying, she wanted to cry and scream at the world for being so cruelly unfair.

She met his smile with one of her own, although it was tear filled. Because heck it all, she couldn’t find it in herself to care. Death, at this point, was inevitable. So she let the tears fall.

Cassian leaned forward, and his head met her shoulder. She moved closer to him, finding the strength to kneel up and pull him into her arms. His hands rose to press weakly against her back, another on her neck, and his nose tucked just under her ear.

She could hear him breathing, and she tried to focus on that. The wind was picking up now, hot and dry. She knew it wouldn’t be long. Who knew this would be how she would die? On the beach of an imploding planet?

She clung to him tighter, and honed in on his breathing. In and out, in and out. It was choppy, but steady. She let it drown out the noise around them. The sound of death.

The wind picked up suddenly, and she knew. This was it. The sand was clawing at her face now, and she screwed her eyes shut. She prayed death would be quick about it. Not just for her sake, but for Cassian’s. He was shaking in her arms, his grip growing weaker. He was in pain, and if death was going to come, then she wished it would do it quickly.

She gave up, and prepared to let the sand swallow her.

But a hand suddenly gripped her jacket, none too kindly, and jerked her to her feet. She spiraled and sprawled on what she thought would be sand, but to her amazement, was actually metal. Metal that hummed beneath her with life and the promise of a roaring engine.

She opened her eyes to see a figure dragging Cassian up the piece of metal which she realized was, in fact, a gangplank to a ship. She scrambled to her feet and crawled up inside the ship, not caring if it was Imperial or Rebel.

_We’re going to live._ She thought fanatically. The idea was enough to make her giddy.

The door slammed closed, and only then did she gather her wits. The man holding Cassian let him drop to the ground before rushing towards a door, not pausing to say anything before practically leaping into the cockpit, the sound of switches clicking and gears whirring the only things she could make out. After a quick assessment, she saw that she and Cassian were alone, with only the pilot as their companion.

_Cassian._

She turned and crawled over to his side before helping him to sit up more comfortably. She thought about leaning him against the wall of the ship, but it was bent at an awkward level, and with how his ribs and who knew what else being messed up, she figured something softer would be better.

So she positioned herself behind him, and slowly laid him to rest in her lap, with his back and head propped against her chest and shoulder. His head flopped, and his nose tickled her neck. Although having him unconscious worried her, she also counted it as a small mercy. At least he was blissfully unaware of any pain.

She looked up when a curse was muttered from the cockpit. The ship shook, and she braced a hand against the wall.

“Hello!?” She called, her voice a mere rasp. She swallowed and wet her lips before trying again. “What’s happening?”

“Jyn! Hang tight, we’re breaking atmospheric pressure.” 

Jyn fell back with relief, a small laugh choking her. Bodhi. It was Bodhi, he’d found them.

“You have no idea how happy I am to hear your voice.” She called, not sure if he could hear her or not. When she didn’t get a reply, she remained silent, figuring he could concentrate better without her distracting him.

Instead, she looked down at Cassian, and brought her hand away from the ship’s wall to push back his hair. It was filled with sand, but worse than that, his forehead was layered with sweat. She let her hand rest there, worrying when she realized how warm he was. The blood on his sleeve caught her eye, and she wondered what interior damage he’d sustained to cause him to cough blood. She struggled to remember her basic lessons as a child. Gerrera hadn’t cared much for her schooling, so whatever knowledge she had was from experience or what her mother had told her.

Coughing up blood. The lungs. A punctured lung? What do you do for a punctured lung? She looked down again, focusing on Cassian’s chest. Each breath was irregular and wheezy, his chest shaking with each rise and fall. His chest was definitely messed up.

The ship careened, forcing Jyn and Cassian against the wall. Cassian’s weight pressed her already injured leg against the ship, and she bit on her lip to keep from screaming. The adrenaline was slowing wearing off, and with it came pain.

The ship jerked and visibly dropped, leaving her stomach behind. “Bodhi?” She cried.

“We’re out! We’re out!” He whooped, accompanied by more clicking and beeps from the ship's controls. She heard his quick steps, then he appeared in the cockpit’s doorway. “We’re safe, guys.” He breathed, a wide grin splitting his face. “Well, for now anyhow.” He moved towards them, pausing to search through some supplies in an overhead bin.

She noticed he favored his right leg, but other than a few minor cuts and bruises, he looked to have escaped mostly unscathed. For the utmost time that day, she felt a wave of relief wash over her. At least one of them had escaped without any fatal injuries.

Speaking of which.

She pulled Cassian a little bit closer. “Is there a med kit on board?” The thought only then occurred to her that they were on a strange ship, not the one they’d come to the island on. An Imperial ship? If she was more aware, she might be able to figure it out. But her mind was so muddled, she couldn’t find it in herself to care. It was a ship, and it had gotten them off of Scarif, and that was enough for her.

Bodhi pulled out a metal box from the bin, not bothering to shut it before making his way to the spot where Jyn and Cassian lay. He crouched beside them and opened the box, pulling out different medical equipment and passing them to Jyn, who only stared at them. She had no clue what she was doing. She’d been hurt in the past, but she’d merely slapped a bacta patch on it and called it good. There was only so much a small bacta patch could do for internal damage, especially something so bad it caused Cassian to _cough blood._

“What do I do?” She asked, picking up a cylinder. She pulled off the plastic covering, and realized it was a needle.

Bodhi was busy peeling off bacta patches, but gestured towards his arm. “Just stick it in his arm. It’s an injection and should help wake him up and ward off some of the pain.”

She didn’t hesitate to jab it into Cassian’s skin, right through the cloth of his shirt. Once all the clear liquid inside the needle was gone, she pulled it out and tossed it aside, before looking back up at Bodhi for further instructions.

“Where’s he the most hurt?” Bodhi asked, a quiver finding its way into his voice. He looked up, and she realized he was just as nervous as she was, although there was a hardness behind his eyes. She trusted him.

“I-I’m not sure. He fell in the tower, hit his back and chest. He couldn’t walk and he was coughing up blood-” She looked down at his sleeve.

“Oh.” Bodhi whispered, following her gaze. His hands were shaking. _“Oh.”_

“What do we do? I think he has a punctured lung.”

“T-take his shirt off.”

Jyn hastily unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it away, revealing his chest. She swallowed thickly at the sight of multiple bruises and deep discolouration along his entire rib cage. And that wasn’t the most concerning part. Because she could see the bumps beneath the skin, no doubt hiding broken ribs.

Bodhi began pressing bacta patches on the worst of the bruising, before leaning back on his heels and pressing his palms against his knees. He exhaled deeply. “Anything else?”

Jyn carefully leaned Cassian forward, wincing when his head flopped forward. But she wanted to check his back, because she had no doubt that falling on a metal beam had to have some effect on his spine. At that thought, it dawned on her that that could be the reason why he’d been unable to walk. Perhaps his spine had sustained some damage…

She pulled up his shirt, and sucked in a sharp inhale. His lower back was nothing but one massive bruise, and along his spine was red and swollen. Bodhi leaned forward and hissed at the sight, his tongue clicking anxiously.

“Oh no. _Oh no oh no_ , that’s…” Bodhi paused and caught himself before he could say any more.

“Bacta. Quick.” Jyn barked, and both she and Bodhi wasted no time in pressing the patches against the worst of Cassian’s spine. Once done, she peeled off her jacket with some difficulty, seeing as how Cassian was still half laying in her arms. Once done she spread it on the ground, and Bodhi went to get a blanket to spread over top of it. Between the two of them, they managed to lay Cassian on the makeshift bed. It wasn’t great, and she had a feeling that with the state of his back, he should not be lying on a hard surface, but it was the best they could do.

Bodhi stuttered that he was going back to check on their stats, before disappearing into the cockpit, leaving her alone. She adjusted herself until she was leaning against the wall, next to Cassian's head. She studied him, trying to calm down and finding it very difficult to do so. Her mind kept drifting to the fact that they had almost died. They’d been so close to death. She practically touched it.

Her mind drifted to Kay. She hadn’t been half as close to the droid as Cassian had been, but still, he’d been a friend. One of the few she’d ever had. And he’d sacrificed himself for them- for her father’s cause.

And what had happened to Chirrut and Baze, Jyn had no idea. If they’d survived the battle, there was a slim chance they’d made it off the island before it exploded. And she’d been so absorbed in Cassian she hadn’t thought to ask Bodhi. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know. For now, she’d rather have the small sliver of hope in the fact that they might be alive.

She looked back down at Cassian and dwelled on that for a minute. Hope. Something Cassian practically lived for. She closed her eyes and smiled, regardless of their current situation. To some it might seem pretty hopeless, with Cassian practically lying on his deathbed and Bodhi trying to find a way to get an Imperial ship to a Rebel base. But the plans had made it out, they were alive (albeit barely) and as long as they had that, Jyn figured there was still plenty of hope.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty sure I misspelled Skarif in there somewhere, but it's midnight and I'm too tired to go through and try and find it. Also, I know I'm like, three years late to this fandom, so I'm not even sure if it's even alive anymore (hello if you Rogue One fans are still out there) so I'm not sure if I should continue this or not. If you want more, let me know. This fic won't have a complicated story line or anything, it's basically just me wanting some hurt Cassian and worried Jyn taking care of him (something I've struggled to find in other Rogue One fics?). So yes, feedback is greatly appreciated, and if you guys want more I'll change this to a multi-chap fic. Let me know. :)


End file.
